Feeling it all
We are back on the main land. It was an adventure to get back, we are tired and many feelings are running amok.
Last night I wanted to go dancing. I tried to move and shake off the intensity I was feeling.
It did not work out, and we missed the session. I was feeling overwhelmed by emotion. From neck to toe, my body was starting to freeze and stiffen.
After tucking in the kids, I lay on the floor with my tennis balls; I rolled out some of the stiffness. I stretched out and moved. I could not find relief.
Then I laid down and cried. This was when I finally found release.
Tears are allowed even when life is beautiful and filled with celebration.
I learned the value of happy tears from my partner. The more we allow it to flow, the less constricted and conflicted we become. The more compassion becomes lived.
Compassion is often a beautiful idea. But there is relief when something move from an idea to something lived.
I had a full day of play and beauty. Connecting and learning and serving and resting. I don’t work; I create, share and play. It is our right to feel this way about what we do. I could call it work and servitude or grafting. I could make it all seem very important. I could.
I am here to remind us that we get to be here. It’s not all sunshine and roses. This life and way of living is a choice.
What do anger and disappointment look like?
What do you do when the fire over a perceived wrong rise up?
What is your response? How do you handle life when who you love gets trampled or hurt?
The fire in my belly is not something easily contained. And if you know me, you know that I get fired up, which burns down bridges.
I have had to learn to understand perceived wrongs and actual destruction.
Why my mission is balance and inner guidance to respond, why curiosity and wonder become my lead.
I have learned to check in and not check out. But I had to burn a few bridges to realize that it’s not fun not being able to cross the river.
I had to learn there are not only two sides to a story.
I had to wake up to another reality and the perceived sense of wrong.
My basic rule now is to assess who and what, and why. To walk around the mountain, even try on a few different lenses(perspective).
Is anything being disregarded and not getting a fair chance of survival in the process?
Contrast is always present.
Nothing is ever just one thing, one feeling, or one perception.
This week, my tangent is to acknowledge the tears and pain in the beauty and not shy away from any of them.
I cried and found incredible relief. I discovered again that my emotions expressed allowed me to move freely again.
My feelings that could not find words finally came out through my tears. Tears express joy and celebration too. And the tears also told the story of the contrast, the fears, and the pain I felt for myself and the collective.
I am embracing the next chapter.
Do you have freedom of expression? Are you able to acknowledge where you are? Express it safely without causing destruction or more loss.
Today, this week, I only want to send you love if you will receive it and a little balance in your experience of life and yourself in it.
Always with joy,